God’s Great Gift of Gratitude

I was fussing at the Lord this morning about life and the future.  With all of my heart, I would like to serve again in the ministry in some capacity.  I’ve put myself out there and have opened my heart but I’ve been met with closed doors.  “Why, Lord? Why hasn’t an opportunity come my way?”  While lifting my petty plea up to the Lord, I happen to look down at my feet.  My feet, they move!  They move at my command.  I can lift them, lower them, move them from side to side.  They can lift me up and carry me from one room to the next.  I was reminded this morning. 

Spinal Surgery

On June 26, I had spinal surgery to remove the entire L-1 vertebrae from my spine.  When I began my cancer journey in 2007, the tumor in this vertebrae was only half of a centimeter.  Now, it had reached 4 and a half centimeters and was now pushing on the spinal nerve.  Spinal stenosis is the medical term.  In many cases of spinal stenosis, the spinal discs begin to bulge and push on the nerve.  In this case, a tumor threatened this delicate nerve that carries impulses and commands from the brain to the lower half of the body.  Before surgery, I could barely walk and I had tremendous pain in my right leg.  The area around my waist had become completely numb.  For 6 months, my wife and I did everything possible to find a surgeon to take our case and our insurance.  We finally found one.  The surgery date was set.  I embraced my wife and we prayed together before surgery with much concern about the outcome.  Would I walk again?  Would I be bound to a wheelchair for my remaining days?  Would I live with the inconvenience and the pain of a handicapped person?  So many questions.  We turned our faith to the Lord.  We trusted everything to him and prayed that he would intervene and guide the surgeon’s hands. 

I roll into the Operating Room.  I see a half dozen doctors and nurses in the room.  I greet several of them with a strained smile and tears welling in my eyes.  I take one last picture with the anesthesiologist that he sends to my wife.  They put the mask on my face and that’s it.  Anesthesiology is quite amazing.  You go to sleep and you wake with no feeling of the amount of time that has passed.  It feels like mere minutes.  As I woke in the ICU room, my first thought was, my feet.  I can move them. I can wiggle them.  I can move my toes!!  “Hey, nurse!!”  She cranes her head from behind the computer screen that she’s concentrated on with a very concerned look.  “I can move my feet.  I can wiggle my toes!!”  She almost seems annoyed.  That entire day, with excitement in my voice, though with intense pain in my back and around my body, I tell everyone I see that I can move my feet. 

As I move my feet around this morning, I’m humbled that so quickly I forget those miracles. Psalm 77 expresses my thoughts and feelings so well.  Take a moment and let the words saturate your soul.

To the chief Musician, to Jeduthun, A Psalm of Asaph. I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.  In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.  I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah.  Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak.  I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.  I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.  Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more?  Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore?  Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah.  And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.  I will remember the works of the LORD: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.  Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?  Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.  Thou hast with thine arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.  The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee; they were afraid: the depths also were troubled.  The clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: thine arrows also went abroad.  The voice of thy thunder was in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook.  Thy way is in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, and thy footsteps are not known.  Thou leddest thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron. Psalm 77:1-20

Have you forgotten what He’s done for you?

I’m just like the children of Israel.  I forget what He’s done for me and so quickly go on complaining about today.  The Psalmist said, I will remember the works of the Lord, I will talk of His doings.  So I ask you this morning, have you thanked God for your feet this morning?  Have you talked of His doings in your life or have you only complained as I have done?  Don’t forget what He’s done and what He’s doing.  Don’t forget His miracles.  Don’t forget His wonders.  I was teaching my kids this morning the importance of being thankful.  Thankfulness always starts with thoughtfulness.  It starts with our mind and our thinking.  We have to remember and meditate.  What have you forgotten to be thankful for today? 

-Dan